“Lydia,” he said, a little hesitant himself, and she realised that he was still worried about that little strop she had had this morning when he had told her to stay back from the woods.
That comes across, to me, as minimizing Lydia's legitimate feelings. I don't know if that's how you meant it to sound.
I'm glad Jack and Jimmy shared a kiss, despite how the men there were feeling.
Somehow, I don't think Jimmy would be at all happy with Jack, if he ever found out that the German prisoners were 'dealt with'.
I like this bit:
"I’ll talk to Lydia and Charles,” said Harkness. “I’ll explain it to them.” And quite possibly he would; he seemed to be able to persuade the pair of them of practically anything. Sometimes Gerald wondered why he himself seemed to be immune to Harkness’s alleged charisma. “We could dose them with Compound R,” Harkness suddenly suggested.
“Lydia and Charles?” Gerald asked, a little horrified at the idea.
“No,” Harkness sighed. “The prisoners. A massive dose, wipe out eight years’ worth of memories.”
“It wouldn’t work,” Gerald told him, trying to remember the directions for use. “It’s for short-term memories only, and it is rather toxic, you know; it works by selectively killing brain cells. A dose that size would kill them.” He realised that somewhere or other he had ended up tacitly conceding the point, without really being aware of it; he had become drawn into Harkness’s conspiracy and was now helping him work out the details. Maybe he was not immune after all. “So,” he asked, fixing Harkness with a steely gaze of his own, because they both knew what they were talking about here, even if neither of them seemed willing to come out and just say it. “What do you propose we do?”
Gerald thinking he's immune to Jack's charisma, then realizing that possibly, he's not. I also like how Jack pushed Gerald into what Jack wanted, like he did with Jimmy earlier.
“I’ll do it,” said Harkness, suddenly. “Alone. I forced you to this, I should — ”
“No,” Gerald replied, with cast-iron decisiveness that he did not feel inside. Inwardly, he wanted to make Harkness do it, to forcibly march him into the holding cells and stand over him until the task was complete, rubbing his face in every moment of it. But he could not do that; that was not how a commanding officer conducted himself, and they all recognised the necessity of this even if none of them liked it. “We all do it,” he said. “That is my final decision, and I am in command here.”
I'm glad Gerald didn't give in to his baser impulse. He really is rather nasty, isn't he.
Very painful end to Chapter 17, with each prisoner murdered by Gerald, Jack and Charles.
Chapter 18:
On the occasions when he was at home of an evening,
'of an evening' sounds awkwardly phrased to me. Maybe, in the evening?
Good conversations between Harriet and Gerald and not coming to any real conclusion, other than perhaps being too good a man to be doing what he's doing (sounds to me like that would be the same about Jack).
Thanks for writing and finishing it and posting it.
Chapters 17 and 18
That comes across, to me, as minimizing Lydia's legitimate feelings. I don't know if that's how you meant it to sound.
I'm glad Jack and Jimmy shared a kiss, despite how the men there were feeling.
Somehow, I don't think Jimmy would be at all happy with Jack, if he ever found out that the German prisoners were 'dealt with'.
I like this bit:
"I’ll talk to Lydia and Charles,” said Harkness. “I’ll explain it to them.” And quite possibly he would; he seemed to be able to persuade the pair of them of practically anything. Sometimes Gerald wondered why he himself seemed to be immune to Harkness’s alleged charisma. “We could dose them with Compound R,” Harkness suddenly suggested.
“Lydia and Charles?” Gerald asked, a little horrified at the idea.
“No,” Harkness sighed. “The prisoners. A massive dose, wipe out eight years’ worth of memories.”
“It wouldn’t work,” Gerald told him, trying to remember the directions for use. “It’s for short-term memories only, and it is rather toxic, you know; it works by selectively killing brain cells. A dose that size would kill them.” He realised that somewhere or other he had ended up tacitly conceding the point, without really being aware of it; he had become drawn into Harkness’s conspiracy and was now helping him work out the details. Maybe he was not immune after all. “So,” he asked, fixing Harkness with a steely gaze of his own, because they both knew what they were talking about here, even if neither of them seemed willing to come out and just say it. “What do you propose we do?”
Gerald thinking he's immune to Jack's charisma, then realizing that possibly, he's not. I also like how Jack pushed Gerald into what Jack wanted, like he did with Jimmy earlier.
“I’ll do it,” said Harkness, suddenly. “Alone. I forced you to this, I should — ”
“No,” Gerald replied, with cast-iron decisiveness that he did not feel inside. Inwardly, he wanted to make Harkness do it, to forcibly march him into the holding cells and stand over him until the task was complete, rubbing his face in every moment of it. But he could not do that; that was not how a commanding officer conducted himself, and they all recognised the necessity of this even if none of them liked it. “We all do it,” he said. “That is my final decision, and I am in command here.”
I'm glad Gerald didn't give in to his baser impulse. He really is rather nasty, isn't he.
Very painful end to Chapter 17, with each prisoner murdered by Gerald, Jack and Charles.
Chapter 18:
On the occasions when he was at home of an evening,
'of an evening' sounds awkwardly phrased to me. Maybe, in the evening?
Good conversations between Harriet and Gerald and not coming to any real conclusion, other than perhaps being too good a man to be doing what he's doing (sounds to me like that would be the same about Jack).
Thanks for writing and finishing it and posting it.